she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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