Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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