I heard we made out
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
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YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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