Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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