Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
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I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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