Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize