yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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