Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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