Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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