I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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