best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize