i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
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Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
dude. I can hear the air.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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