New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The beer is more important than you right now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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