is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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