Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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