Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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