tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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