I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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