bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
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At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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