You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize