I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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