now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize