who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize