I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize