I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize