did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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