dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize