That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize