SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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