The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
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Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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