Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize