Yo dont text me then not text me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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