hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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