Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize