Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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