Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize