You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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