Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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