I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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