Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize