I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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