i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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