Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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