She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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