Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize