clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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