Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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