Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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