dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize