Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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